I’ve been to a few memorial services in this past year, the last two were for two older gentlemen I would consider “framily” (friends that feel like family). There were beautiful celebrations to mark their lives here on earth. In both cases their sons spoke about them. Spoke real words and told true stories. Some of them sweet, some of them funny, and some a little sad.
There is something about a memorial service that makes me look at my own life. Each time I attend one, I leave wondering, “what will people say about me someday?” When my time has come, and I’ve gone home to live with our Lord, what will stand out about me? What will they remember?
More than anything I want to hear our Father say, “well done My good and faithful servant, well done My daughter, well done. Come and share Your master’s happiness.” (based on Matthew 25:21) But I wonder, what will people say? I hope they say that I loved God in such a big way that everyone knew it. But I’m not sure that’s actually the case. Yet. I’m not always the best at sharing my faith. I blame that whole Peacemaker, nine on the enneagram thing. That and the fact that I always draw a blank about actual scriptures when discussing God (or anyone/anything else in the Bible) and say something “brilliant” like “well there is a verse somewhere in the Bible that says something to the effect of. . . . “ and then ramble a rough interpretation of what I’ve read.
Outside of loving Jesus, I hope that everyone says I loved people so well that nobody ever had to wonder if they were loved. That they felt loved just being in my presence. I hope my children say that I poured into them, lifted them up, made them feel special, helped them be who they are. I’m not sure I’m great at that either. But I am a work in progress. Loving them amplified and unmastered. Because God is love and I just want to be like Him. Love like Him. Big and unrestrained.
“Don’t look for shortcuts to God. The market is flooded with surefire, easygoing formulas for a successful life that can be practiced in your spare time. Don’t fall for that stuff, even though crowds of people do. The way to life—to God!—is vigorous and requires total attention.” ~Matthew 7:13-14
Vigorous and total attention! Thinking about my entire life and total attention seems so big, and a little overwhelming. There is an African Proverb that says, “How do you eat the elephant standing before you? One bite at a time.” I think that is how to think about this too. How do I love Jesus and tell people I love Jesus? One day at a time. One moment, one meeting at a time. How do I show everyone around me that I love them? One day at a time. One instant, one prompting at a time. Even if it looks and feels messy. Because love for Jesus, and love for everyone else, unmastered, is still love. Imperfect love. Untidy love. Love. One “bite” at a time.